The spiritual work of Mercy, ‘instructing the ignorant’ often conjures up ideas of studying the faith. One might take time to tutor those who are just beginning to ask questions about Catholicism or commit to sharing with family and friends more about what the Church teaches. There are also times when we are instructed about the life of faith through the reality of lived experiences. I came to a deeper understanding about Mary, the Mother of God, through such an encounter.
One of the most misunderstood, misrepresented, and misquoted teachings of the faith is one of the most important. At the heart of our Catholic faith, we believe the same Jesus Christ who always existed as God began to exist as man the moment His mother accepted the invitation to become the Mother of the Most High. In fact, devotion to the Blessed Mother is essential to our faith in her Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Throughout my life in the military I have often been asked to explain what devotion to the Blessed Mother is. Being able to explain what devotion to Our Lady is and understanding the difference between honor versus worship of Mary the Mother of God became a lot easier for me, by the grace of God, when I became a Gold Star Mother. If you do not know what a Gold Star Mother is, do not despair. I was a military mother for over ten years before I found out… the hard way. Please allow me to share the experience with you.
Not every cloud has a silver lining. Sometimes that lining is gold because it has been refined in the fire. Such was the case of the gold star on the pin the Casualty Notification Officer handed me after telling me that my younger son had died in Iraq. It was September 29th, 2009. That is the day when I became a “Gold Star Mother”.
When I hear the Christmas song, “Mary Did You Know?” I often think to myself, “No, I didn’t!” While the song references Jesus’s mother, my name is also Mary. For this reason, the questions about what saying ‘yes’ to God would actually mean took on new significance for me.
I did not know that the babies I once held in my arms, would grow up to be soldiers.
I did not know that I would one day be standing on the tarmac in Dover Delaware to watch as my youngest son’s flag-draped casket was removed from the airplane that brought him home from Iraq.
I did not know that I would come to fully understand what Simeon meant when he said to Mary our Mother, “And a sword shall pierce even your own soul.”
This experience informed my life of faith because of the encounter of caring people and the abiding presence of Christ found in the depth of prayer. I did not know the challenges that would be endured. I had to learn that the gift of faith offers more than I previously considered.
BUT! If I did know what was going to happen, I would have said, “yes” anyway. To say “no” to the life God wants to bless us with is to cut ourselves off from His saving grace. Motherhood is an important vocation that only a woman can undertake. Women who are mothers should be honored, cherished, protected and supported. Some people see a veteran and say thank you for your service and this is a good thing. But, did you ever think about walking up to a mother, struggling in a grocery store with young children, to say, “Thank you for saying yes to life. Is there anything you need help with?”
I may not have known what was going to happen, but God did, and He already had a plan in action. All I had to do was cooperate with Him. If I had refused to accept that gold star pin from that man, it would not have changed the facts. My son was gone from this life. I would never hold him in my arms again. The only way to make it through this horrible ordeal was to turn to our mother Mary. She is the perfect role model, the perfect disciple, the perfect catechist.* I placed myself in her loving embrace as she led me to Calvary, and we stood at the foot of the cross together, at that space between death and new life.
In general, it does not take long for people I meet to figure out I am Catholic. Usually it’s because of something I said, or did — like making the sign of the cross. Inevitably, the subject of Mary comes, and the opportunity arises for me to instruct those who do not know why the Catholic Church reveres her so much. This is what I explain:
In 1936, President Woodrow Wilson made a proclamation which dedicates the last Sunday in September as Gold Star Mother’s Day. This is a public expression of the love, sorrow, and reverence of the people of the United States for mothers who have endured the sacrifice of the loss of their sons and daughters in war. If the president of the United States can set aside a day for the entire nation to honor and revere Gold Star Mothers because their child paid the ultimate sacrifice, then would it not be logical for Christians to honor and revere Christ’s mother, whose Son paid the perfect sacrifice?
Mary, mother of our Savior, mother of the Church, pray for us!
